Well I did something yesterday for the very first time! I got a Mammogram! Can I get a WOOT WOOT!! Was it awful or wonderful you ask. Let’s just put it this way it was an EXPERIENCE!!
HERE’S THE DISCLAIMER:
MEN IT’S GONNA BE GRAPHIC! YOU ARE GOING TO GET TO KNOW A LOT ABOUT MY GIRLS SO ENTER THIS BLOG AT YOUR OWN RISK!
Now ladies are you ready! Here’s my mammogram experience!
I arrived at the Mammography office. As I enter I see a man sitting. Immediately I get a wee bit apprehensive. I then start to think.. “Oh great! why is a man in the land of breast! “Is nothing left to be sacred for us women!” My instinct told me to turn around but I knew I had to go in! I casually walk up to the receptionist and say ( as quiet as I can) I’m here for a Mammogram. The lady at the desk was so sweet and informative. She kindly took my info, gave me the papers to sign and said “Have a seat you’ll be called shortly.”
She was right my wait was minimal. I was called back by another sweet lady. She took me to a room and explained what I would be doing. I had to undress from the waist up and put on a robe. Then I was walked to a waiting area. I was so relieved when I saw 5 other women in robes waiting also waiting!
WHEW! I sat and grabbed a cup of tea. A much older woman asked me if this was my first time. I replied “Yes.” Suddenly the entire “Sisterhood of Boobies” began to reassure me I had nothing to fear.
Each woman told me what to expect and not to be nervous. We all then settled down and began commenting on the “Octo-Mom” . Inside Edition was on and we all had a comment to make. After about 10 minutes it was my turn. As I got up I heard various comments from “It’ll be fine”, to “have fun”, and “Don’t be scared”. I loved the camaraderie in that room.
I entered the room and saw “The BOOB SQUASHER” (Mammogram Machine) I kind of tensed up. Then the tech came in and explained in detail what she would be doing. I told myself I would be fine. I then seemed to recall every horror story I was ever told about having a Mammogram! Well I was topless and already in the room with no where to run so I figured what the heck Squash away! I need to know the girls are ok!
Now this part was AWKWARD! Maybe it’s just me but it was. The tech asked me to open my robe. I did as I was told. She’s a Mammography tech I knew my size 40 DD’s wouldn’t shock her. I was just nervous flashing her. I mean I wasn’t getting beads in return or anything! Then she shows me these stickers with a silver tip on them. Honestly they looked like Pasties. She told me she had to put them on my nipples. So here I am with my twin 40DD’s out and someone is putting stickers on my nipples! Oh well it could potentially save my life! I had to get over the awkwardness!
Next I was pulled toward the” Boob Squasher” The tech then takes one of my girls and ever so casually places it on the machine. Which by the way was a very cold surface. It actually felt like they iced it down! Next the tech begins to flatten my boob with her hand like she was flattening a mound of dough. The whole time making sure I knew what she was doing next. So for me awkward for her just another day at the office.
I then had to turn my body slightly, place my arm on the side of the machine,turn my face the other way, and then the machine flattened my boob! Did it hurt? Not really, I just felt alot of pressure. I think I’m more traumatized from seeing my poor boobie flattened and distorted. It didn’t take long. I then did the other side. The most uncomfortable thing was the position you have to hold while the machine scans your breast. So pain wasn’t really part of it for me. Awkwardness yes I’ll say that was it. The best part is I now know what to expect next year.
I finished and they looked over the results. As I changed and went to the desk to check out I got a paper that said my girls were fine and to make sure I came back next year! They also told me self examination was also an important part of prevention. So ladies don’t forget to feel your boobies! Hope this helped some of you. It wasn’t horrible and remember a mammogram could save your life! So make your appointment now! Take care!
Edith!
